A Rant... YOU ARE WARNED

Okay,
I made one big mistake by marrying my second husband --- however, its a catch 22 in some respects.. had I NOT met him, and married his sorry drunk drug-using ass I would not have met my MM. (For Ree this is Marlboro Man --- MY version Mechanic MAN! hubba hubba)

It's recently been pointed out to me that I have a good but rather SARCASTIC humor. I don't think however, that I am as SARCASTIC as this gal is at Happyville Library. There is a word for this... sardonic perhaps.. *shrugs* what ever. I dunno... but some days I really have attitude -- and today you're gonna be blessed with my not so "happy go lucky side." You are warned.

Can I be a big B? YUP! And it AIN'T pretty!

Okay, back to sarcastic humor... I was blessed with a mother who's scarcasim I learned well at an EARLY age -- this did not however prepare me for the DIPSHIT I married the second go around. His nickname we fondly refer to him around here are as follows :

Stupor man.. He's a drunk and obviously damn proud of it. He spent quite a bit of time lifting 12 ounces... and being a total DICK WAD... He also didn't see the humor in the nick name....

AssHOLE was another favorite -- and I was informed that at least they have a purpose. To which I sardonically replied, "Yep, they stink and shit on family and friends alike." He was NOT amused. I cannot IMAGINE WHY? Well, hell, he taught me all about the ins and outs of how an abuser REALLY works (experience includes and is not limited to rape and physical beatings) ... my first husband, by the way, with his NOT SO WITTY MOUTH takes a very close second to this man. The only thing lacking in my first marriage was the PHYSICAL ABUSE -- but mind you that's not much comfort considering...

Darwin -- which of all intense and purposes IS HIS MIDDLE NAME! I am NOT kidding. He should be honored with the DARWIN OF THE YEAR award.. only problem is -- the gene POOL has not been cleansed of his filth. (He's in jail, not dead. darn it!)*by the way, normally I would never wish death on anyone -- however, he's an exception to every rule made because he breaks all of them. You did know that his real name was "god" (I REFUSE to capitalize that... ) and "god" doesn't have to follow the rules.. no matter who's they are. Oh, and don't feel sorry for this guy because YOU WILL BE HIS NEXT VICTIM! (after of course he serves his time for fraud and escape from jail charges -- what a saint!) Another point, he's a LIAR! He lied to me about everything he ever did, and is a silver tongued snake. And yes, if you were NOT aware of who he is via my warnings, he will take advantage of you and do a damn fine job of it. It's his career --- it's what he does and what he's good at.

hrm.. where was I... oh, sarcasm. Many times I can be witty and funny with it.. however, this rant went a totally different direction.. excuse me while I go wash my mouth out with soap and I will get back to you.

Did I learn sarcasm from him? YOU BET! Ain't it fun?

hrm... next? I have learned sarcasm from my currently family too. Mechanic man has his own blessed version of sarcasm -- and has had good use for it too. Though I will have to say I enjoy MM sense of sarcasm. My favorite thus far is when the kids refused to listen and he'd had enough, threatened them -- "I am going to go buy plexiglass to install in your abdomen so you can see where you are going!" His sarcasm, though funny, was badly timed... I was driving into work and had a drink that I was sipping on the straw -- as he said that. Between trying to expel the liquid from my lungs in huge loping coughs and laughing I nearly wrecked. I, between coughs and giggles, asked my dear MM to please refrain from such comments while I was driving from now on, please!